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After looking at the Whackk! College Ratings - Mumbai edition, the Delhi people wanted their own thing! So giving in to popular demand, we give you the Delhi edition of Whackk! College Ratings!

1. Most Desperate - Aaja meri gaadi mein baithja!

The stags standing outside a nightclub waiting for a group of gigglies to oblige them for free entry would turn out to be from one of these. More often than not, these colleges also find space in our living rooms with their glorious advertisements wherein firangi aunty jees tell us why ‘their’ college deservingly has words like ‘international’ conspicuously thrown around in the name.

IP University, as a whole, should feature here, as it is much more spread out, and has a seat for even the 18000th rank holder. True Story.

Of course, whatever IP does, DU does better, so we have two rather strong contenders holding ground in this category for the rest of the Delhi University.

Final Ranking:

  1. Manav Rachna International University
  2. PGDAV College, IP University
  3. JD Institute of Fashion Technology
  4. Moti Lal NehruCollege, Delhi University
  5. Ram Lal College, Delhi University

 

2. Best Makeover Factory

Delhi University is nothing if not a site for magical makeovers.

Jesus and Mary College has enough eye candy in the cherry-chapstick-putting, leather-boots-wearing, Juicy-Couture-carrying, air-kissing, hoity-toity dahlings. Every year a certain kind of people take admission in JMC. The others either change into the others or simply never fit in. Next up : Lady Shri Ram College For Women; you go in as just another normal human being and come out wearing chunky silver jewelry, Fabindia kurtas and Lajpat Nagar kohlapuris; all in your quest for being ‘different’. They surprise you at all Ladies' Nights as they flood them with their frilly blouses and very short skirts. The pouts and the heavy kohled eyes are signature looks for both.

The boys reign at Hansraj College, St. Stephens College and Sri Venkateshwara College (Venky). Even though co-ed, it’s the guys in these colleges that take the cake, baker and bakery in the makeover department. With their ‘cafes’ (and not canteens), societies that come with a complimentary ‘social life’ and the realization that the dude you sat with at the Orientation, sports longer hair than your girlfriend, the guys from this college are not recognizable from their school years’ pictures.

Final Ranking:

  1. Jesus and Mary College
  2. Lady Shri Ram College for Women.
  3. Hansraj College
  4. St. Stephens College
  5. Sri Venkateshwara College.

 

3. Greatest Charsis

We use the word ‘Charsis’ only to grab eyeballs of the misguided youth (sigh), but we mean the general crop of students that cannot go a day without their (more than) prescribed amounts of alcohol, smokes, among other unmentionables.

Delhi School of Economics (aka D-School) is the hub for all such activity in the North Campus, hands down! Your rolling buddies start and end their days here. Rumour has it, that the college gardener found a marijuana patch growing in a corner some time back. Ramjas College has a dedicated ‘Fag Lane’ inside college premises for beautiful smoke signals all day. The pseudo charsis form a big chuck of Sri Venkateshwara College, where bonds are formed based on mouth fags of a few months. Kamala Nehru College and Gargi College, apparent rival colleges, prove that there’s something luxurious about watching over twenty girls smoking their lungs out, main road adjacent, at any point of the day.

Final Ranking:

  1. D-School
  2. Ramjas College
  3. Sri Venkateshwara College
  4. Kamala Nehru College
  5. Gargi College

 

4. Best in Vella-ness

All classes are over till noon. All practices are over till two. The malls/metros/coolest hangouts are just a few kilometers away. No one from these colleges let a day go by without bitching their college out to someone or the other at least once. Us Delhiites at Whackk, would like to take a moment to commend the sheer lack-of-activity by any average student, in these colleges. Of course, far too many were in the running.

Final Ranking:

  1. Ram Lal Anand College
  2. Moti Lal Nehru College
  3. ARSD College
  4. Shaheed Bhagat Singh College.
  5. MadhuBala Institute of Technology, IP University.

 

5. Most Violent

Boy 1 likes Girl 1. Girl 1 and Boy 2 like each other. Boy 1 beats Boy 2 up; blood-shudd and all that. DUSU election dates mean holidays in the following colleges. There is violence, rallies and bloodshed throughout. The elected one, however, ultimately does not introduce butter chicken in the canteen.

Final Ranking:

  1. Shaheed Bhagat Singh College
  2. Moti Lal Nehru College
  3. Khalsa College (SGND and SGTB)
  4. Ramjas College.
  5. Kirori Mal College.

 

6. The Hottest Crowd

Colleges from the ‘Best Makeover’ category are almost unanimous obvious entries under this category.

  1. Jesus and Mary College
  2. Lady Shri Ram College for Women.
  3. Hansraj College
  4. St. Stephens College
  5. Sri Venkateshwara College.

 

 

7. Weirdest Lingo

There is absolutely no competition in this category. Dilliwalahs are hardly innovative with their word creations, apparently. But the one college that holds so much ground here that it seems like a deliberate effort on its part, on behalf of all colleges in Delhi. St. Stephens. We are going to rank not colleges, but words here.

Final Ranking:

  1. Stephenians – people from St. Stephens.
  2. K-Nags – closest chilling place, aka, Kamala Nagar Market.
  3. Hot SamsSamosas.
  4. G-Jams – Gulab Jamuns.
  5. *author has thrown up*

 

 

8. The Pansiest

One who lacks the appropriate masculinity associated with testosterone and like the pansy, displays a shade of purple and a flower-like demeanor but is however a fruit. The winner of this category is the one where straight men want to be called/perceived as gay because (*hold your breath*) “it’s better for their careers”. True Story.

The rest are, generally, pansy; complete with all their Facebook self clicked images.

Final Ranking:

  1. Pearl Academy of Fashion.
  2. NIFT.
  3. St. Stephens College.
  4. Sri Venkateshwara College
  5. IP University. (Yes, ENTIRE!)

 

9. Weirdest Name

No college in Delhi has a college-like name, to say the least. They seem borrowed legacy from Halwais and/or Jalebi Bais.

Final Ranking:

  1. Tirumala Tirupati Devasthanam Sri Venkateswara College (Oh yea. That’s Venky!)
  2. Gargi College. (I thought they always gargled too!)
  3. Daulat Ram College (Funnier because it’s the name of a freaking Girls-Only College!)
  4. Miranda House. (We know what drink sponsors all their fests.)
  5. Ladi Shri Ram College for Women. (Paradoxical, don’t you think?)

 

 

10. The Most Unknown Colleges

Over 80 colleges at Delhi University, a few are bound to go unnoticed. However, in real number, they are faaar too many. Following are the five randomly chosen colleges that are Most Unknown; in no particular order.

Errr.. Who are you, again?

Final Ranking:

  1. Ayurvedic and Unani Tebbia College
  2. Rajkumari Amrit Kaur College of Nursing
  3. Ramanujam College
  4. Mata Sundari College for Women
  5. Shyama Prasad Mukherji College for Women

 

Made possible with a lot of input from Sandhya Chaudhry

Author Details

Priyam Saha

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