Much as we will hate to admit, we all secretly love Indian Marriages. But what is it that makes us positively dig them? Some will say that it is the free food that attracts them; some will say that it’s the whole process of dressing up. But only when your friends will get you drunk will you admit that it’s none of that. Actually, it is the chunky and luscious arm of the Bountiful Bableen Bhabhi, mass flapping in agreement to the beat of the dhol that gets your heart thumpin’ and your blood pumpin’. Don’t make a face. You know you have shaken some serious booty with her one time or another, either of your own accord or after being bribed by your maat-pita. And you want to do it again. And again.

Whackk! brings you the best (and worst) of the shaadi-byah and nautanki. So even if you’d like to think yourself a respectable non-dancer, get yourself a seat closest to the dance floor and get ready.   

Most people wouldn’t last the whole video [follow the link]. But you can see that they’re sweating it out to get your attention here. It’s really about asserting yourself on the floor, and the fight to remain on the camera is continual even if that means you must pull another one by the hair. You can also hear a scream at 0:50. 

The Tharakk

He is the one uncle who can be spotted from a distance in every wedding. Only looks like Shah Rukh Khan of Rab Ne Bana di Jodi. He is Shakti Kapoor in disguise. Characterized by his lip biting and ball shaking, he thrusts his pelvis in directions you have never seen before. His favorite song is Beedi Jalaile. And we’re guessing you already know his favorite jiggar-cutting step.

Two minutes silence for the above gentleman.

The Bhabhi

Bhabhi has meat. Bhabhi likes her meat. Bhabhi wears the most vibrant colours to cover her meat. And everything matches everything. Of course she’s happy and wants to dance. But she got to behave like a lady. So she does a little boogie her and a little woogie there. She knows though, that she has a lead over the other awkward as fuck Bhabhi who has been dragged by hammered husband to dance with the group and can only manage a polite balle balle.

The Andar ki Bhabhi

This character comes out when most of them are away to pig it out on the buffet. This uncle, yes uncle, becomes the naagin to the sapera (our Disco jockey) as soon as some Shiela or Kajrare is played. After the initial disturbing seconds, you can’t help but appreciate uncle’s slim waist and frail wrists twirling oh-so-effortlessly to the sound of music. 

This is where dance meets art. And we’re not just saying.

KKreepy KKids

They’re mostly running around throughout the event. No one knows what/who they’re running after, but packaged in miniature lehengas and sherwaanis, they’re still running. Away from mother and the free food she wishes to force feed them. On the dance stage, they jump and jump and pull down their own clothes and other’s. Until the Pedophile comes for them.

If you’re busy snorting and looking down upon these artists that we’ve just mentioned above, know that, you maybe a Ganesh Hegde for all we care, but you would still only be able to jump with one hand in air if the DJ played Brazil by Venga Boys.