The proud regal sport of the royals, the nobles and the princely: lawn tennis. For that matter any lawn sport. Admit it, at some point of time you were enticed by the dancing duo sashaying around in an exceptionally neat tennis/badminton court in a Technicolor Bollywood movie. What is so exciting? The blinding shades of colored costumes? The hysterically pleased looking couple playing stunts with the racket and the ball/shuttle-cock that would make you look like a major lunatic have you been tried them in a deserted court for real? Or the stunts themselves?

Years and years of motion talkies have spun out some classic love songs, especially the golden 90s (as classic so as to encourage raucous karaokes, ear-splitting heart-breaks pouring out with alcohol). Ever wondered why the primary sport of such flimflam love songs is normally lawn tennis or badminton? The skinny, waxed basketball playing teenage heartthrobs came way after, mate.

The conventional report says the seductive captivation of the male counterpart by the female at both the ends of the court is just the thing. Also, the obsessively neat ambience is a treat to eyes (more like a sneering hint at the deteriorating personal hygiene - crazy? Tell me about it!). But then, with the man on the so-tight tights flinging his arms around and over, and trying all sorts of gimmicks and impressive pelvic-thrusting dance moves to woo his girl, very less attention goes toward the sport.

You know what I think as to why such lawn sports are brought into the screen?

One particular yester-year’s blockbuster-hit took up this sport for one of their songs because:

• Football, for that matter, football players were just plain ugly.
• Gulli-danda was getting so yesterday!
• It was the pushtani sport of director’s ancestry.
• One of the dying wishes of the producer’s lucknow wali chachi.
• The baba from the nazar utaro havan proclaimed it to be auspicious for the success of the movie. Anyway, how much did bamboo dancing stand a chance against lawn tennis?!
• Baba Ramdev or the 90s version of him made everyone believe it to be the sport played right after the anulom vilom and kapalbhati. Darn me, if he was kidding!
• Or to quote a particular scene from our beloved F.R.I.E.N.D.S series, they had not much choice, either a couple of bath-robes or the tennis costumes :P

Thus after the sensuous heart-throbbing, palm sweating 3 minutes of ridiculously remarkable tennis play, it became a thing… and also that’s why werewolves do have chest-hair or maybe not, very profound concept if you ask me.