Before you call me a Grandma and tell me to go back to the technology-less dark ages, let me elucidate. I was once a 3D whore, just like you yuppies…but then came Hannah Montana and Haunted and I wept. Yes, I wept the future of films, I wept for the lack of expertise while using 3D, I wept for poor African kids who have no TV. That’s when I vowed that I will never watch anything which is 3D again!. Yes, I do not lie. I also do not like big butts.

When Deathly hallows part 2 came out, I went for it at… wait for it… CHANDAN. It had hanging fans, it had a concave screen, it had people screaming at the reel guy to turn the volume up. But, it also had 2D, dear dear old 2D. Deathly hallows like most the movies these days, had absolutely no reason to be a 3D movie. ‘But Mahima!!’, you will whine, ‘What about the battle?!!!’ To which I will shriek, WHAT BATTLE?!. That sorry product of David Yates’s laziness, which he thought will automatically become kickass once in 3D?!

So wrong.

Here are three reasons to just why 3D is not such a sweet shit you think it is:

The Glasses

I do not like those monstrosities shoved into my face. No I don’t. They don’t fit, they have stray conjunctivitis strains and they look fuck ugly, like something‘s died on your face. Also, they keep coming in the way while you’re trying to eat/drink/ and in case of poor high school kids with nowhere to go, make out.

The Lameness

3D movies are like the overused hair fringe. Yes, cringe in shame if you’ve got one! Now you’ll ask, but why duuudee?! Fringes are like aweeesome and 3D is like aweeesome. To you I say, stop saying awesome you toad! Fringes are just going to turn you into a blind person and so are those 3D glasses. 3D, like the hair fringe, was awesome once. When they used it sparingly and brilliantly, like in Avatar (Kate Hudson/ Jared leto in case of fringes). That shit was brilliant! You felt like you were right there in Pandora chilling with the Na’vis. How to train your dragon was another brilliant one.

But since then, every random Tom, Dick and Harry of movies wants a piece of the big D. Movies like Tangled, Thor, Haunted (yeah THAT) made you rethink your love for 3D. In fact, it made you absolutely hate it.

The Brokeness

Since inception, we college students have accepted that being broke is always going to a part of our lives. Hence, people up there have to realize that the overpriced tickets for 3D movies are killing us little by little.

Unless of course, you’re one of those pricks who come to college in BMWs and pointy shoes. If you are, then listen man… get a better playlist! Hip hop only looks cool on black people.

In fact everything looks cool on black people.

P.S : However, I WILL watch the 3D remake of Star wars. Don’t judge me, you know you will too!