Alright, how many How I Met Your Mother fans do we have in the house? If you are one, hang on to your seat real tight – we are about to throw something really shocking your way right now. You’ve been warned.

Whackk’s super secret undercover ninja sleuth, who goes by the nickname of Moe Ron to conceal his super secret identity, has just got his hands on some breaking news: How I Met Your Mother is going to be remade in Hindi. Yes, you read that right. But that’s only the beginning of the nightmare. Any guesses on who’s going to make it? Well, you would be delighted to know that the whole concept and the venture are in the safe hands of Indian television’s best creative talent, Ekta Kapoor. She has tentatively titled the remake as “Kkaise Milaaa Main Teriii Maa Kko”

(At this moment, we are getting reports of many people fainting out of shock. But it’s not like we didn’t warn them. Also, if I were you, I would not take Moe Ron’s reports seriously. He’s known to spread unbelievably silly rumours all the time.)

Moe Ron even managed to get hold of Ektaji for her comments. Here is the full transcript of the interview:

Moe: Ma’am, let me begin by asking, why? Why oh why would you do this to us?

Ekta: Because the Indian youth need someone as talented as me to create original, entertaining and compelling TV shows. Where would India be without me?

Moe: Somewhere safe and happy, I guess? Anyway, do tell us how is your new series original? It seems to be blatantly copy-pasted and translated!

Ekta: That’s where you are wrong. I never copy-paste anything. I just get “inspired” by others’ ideas and add my touch of creativity to it.

Moe: And how exactly have you creatively “touched” this show?

Ekta: Well, I have made the show a lot more traditional. Family values are extremely important, especially those from the mid-twentieth century, and this show will showcase those values. The entire cast is going to be from decent Gujarati families. Every episode will start with the gang performing a collective puja around a potted plant outside their home. The characters Ted and Lily will be played by Ronit Roy and Smriti Irani. Robin would be a homely Gujarati girl and a devotee of Jalaram Baapa. Barney Stinson, the womanizing stud, would be played by my brother Tusshaar Kapoor – only he can carry off any Casanova role with effortless ease.

Moe (wiping his sweat): A-are you serious?

Ekta: Of course! I knew you would like it!

Moe: When are you planning to launch this show?

Ekta: Very soon. I have already planned out the first 2500 episodes. To make the show more interesting, there will be about 15 generation leaps (as suggested by my personal numerologist), the actor playing Marshall will be changed 23 times and Ted’s mother will be an evil vamp who would stop him from meeting his future wife.

(The remainder of this interview is unavailable. Moe had passed out after hearing Ekta’s statements. He is currently recovering at a hospital, but is still in deep trauma.)

All we can do now is wait and pray that Ektaji doesn’t get any more brilliant ideas such as this. The humanity has been through enough already, and it’s about time that we are shown a little respite.

Peace.