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By Kartikeya in Skkreen! - On

It was a regular Tuesday for me. Doing the regular, saving the world and being a supreme badass. Lovely folks at PVR pictures invited us over for the special press screening of their new production ‘Escape Plan’. Sounded like an escape plan from my mundane aforementioned activities. So I found myself sitting amidst a chosen few cinema lovers watching this movie.

Some general information about the movie. The movie stars Sylvestor Rocky Stallone and Arnold Terminator Schwazzenegar. Stallone plays a guy whom the Federal Beuro Of Prison hires to check how escape proof their prisons are. Stallone does so by getting planted in these, prisons  without the knowledge of the prison authorities, and then breaking out of them by following his breakout techniques (which he has written a book about). Things take a dramatic turn when he gets hired to break out of the safest prison built by the government for the baddest men of the planet.

Now that you have the unbiased, no-spoiler information about the movie, I can let loose my biased cannon. My problems with the movie occur at every step, the script, the casting, the acting and the treatment. If you’ve seen the popular TV show called ‘Prison Break’ you’ll have a sense of déjà vu throughout the movie. I was hoping the writer would surprise us somewhere but his surprises were duller than a ‘surprise’ midnight visit by your friends on your birthday.

The only good thing about the movie is the screenplay. Some of the fight sequences are well directed. The screenplay guy deserves a stand alone applause for his attempt to salvage the drowning script.

This movie is like Prison Break on some serious steroids. This baddest prison around seemed to only have prisoners on a high protein diet with lots of time to workout. It’s like they never admitted out of shape people into this prison. Imagine Scofield and Sucre (characters of Prison Break) and give them some heavy doses of steroids and voila! We have Stallone looking like he had his whole body swollen by bee stings and Arnold struggling to make his cheek bones move for an expression.  Apparently Stallone’s character was an ex lawyer who later discovers his talents in prison breaking. Except his body looks like only did pushups with about 50 constitutions on his back while he should have been fighting cases. Sly adds to his miserable performance with a terrible dialogue delivery stint making the audience lose further interest. I could only imagine a Kevin Spacey for this role. Food for thought.

Bloopers ignored, the climax of the movie was predictably dramatic, even touching Bollywood standards at times. The entire movie looked like season 1 of Prison break squeezed into 90 minutes. So if your friends have been judging you for not having watched one of the most gripping shows around, watch this movie and save your street cred. Else, skip this movie and save the monnies for a rainy day. Folks in Mumbai, take that last line literally.

Kartikeya

" I don't quite recall an inspiring quote to fill in here right now." Follow me : @Whackkman

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